It's interesting, currently my business (bootstrapped and small) is doing just fine. Profitable, making more than I used to working for someone else, and I'm STILL scared shitless most of the time. The wife and I want to build a house and have kids and that sort of thing, and it all scares me.
The really interesting thing though is that in general working for yourself is not much if any more risky than working for someone else. Sure if you are at Apple or Google it's unlikely they are going out of business, but companies big and small go bankrupt all the time. Layoffs happen all the time. That's the way things work. You just have to make yourself valuable and work hard. Especially in our business, if you are remotely competent it isn't hard to find work right now.
I really should find a way to feel less stressed. Things are mostly fine, and I know for a fact that I could get a job tomorrow if I wanted/needed to. "Failure" for me would likely mean taking a high paying dev job at a great company that I respect. I should just relax and do good work and hope for the best. It's hard though, and I see where the OP is coming from.
No point working all the time to accumulate all you can only to die early from a heart attack.
Working for someone else means you can go home and not think about work until tomorrow. And you can read a book and develop hobbies, learn to play an instrument, tend a garden and look after a pet.
I do not envy you. I have had to work very hard in the evenings to get out of sticky situations, and despite the romantic view of working for yourself, I like to go home and forget the day.
That's the interesting thing. I made more money than I've ever made last year while working fewer hours than I ever had. Things are going well for all intents and purposes, but building a house and having a kid or two is scary on many levels. Being responsible for yourself is pretty easy. Being responsible for a spouse adds a little bit to it. Being responsible for a kid on top of that (and having the spouse quit working to take care of it) adds significantly more.
The really interesting thing though is that in general working for yourself is not much if any more risky than working for someone else. Sure if you are at Apple or Google it's unlikely they are going out of business, but companies big and small go bankrupt all the time. Layoffs happen all the time. That's the way things work. You just have to make yourself valuable and work hard. Especially in our business, if you are remotely competent it isn't hard to find work right now.
I really should find a way to feel less stressed. Things are mostly fine, and I know for a fact that I could get a job tomorrow if I wanted/needed to. "Failure" for me would likely mean taking a high paying dev job at a great company that I respect. I should just relax and do good work and hope for the best. It's hard though, and I see where the OP is coming from.