Working a job and doing a startup is unsustainable, no matter where you are. Work/life balance is the same problem no matter where you are.
Yeah the valley is different, and ideas get funded easier and even dumb ideas get funded. Funding != success, so don't delude yourself into thinking that just because you can go out there and get funded you magically succeed or don't have to worry about money anymore. Maybe you have a decent salary for 2-3 years and get to "live the dream" but if it doesn't work out then you're pretty much back where you started.
I went through the wringer at 25 and it was my wake up call, and I heeded it.
If you want a good lifestyle, then make that your #1 priority. Working 80 hours a week for a long time leads to only one eventuality that often includes burnout, sickness, divorce, and unhappiness.
I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes an idea just isn't achievable given current circumstances. Working alone on something that requires 2 man-years to even "test out" is gonna be painful.
You have to either agressively cut scope, or better yet find an early customer and have them fund your work. Work with nature, not against it.
As for moving and getting funded... just a few thoughts:
If you get funded, it's no longer your company. The constant pressure of progress from the guys with money pretty much guarantees stress, anxiety, and indentured servitude as you haul ass to try out your idea. Remember who the VC industry serves; investors and the VC firms. While you do get something out of it (money), they aren't there to serve you. They are there to make money.
That's why all of my startups since I went through the wringer have been bootstrapped. I (or a small group of partners) own 100%. We have control. Even if we're 1/5 as successful as if we raised VC, the end result is the same b/c we own it all. If we need to grow, then we can borrow cheap "cash-flow" money instead of expensive "can I try my idea" money.
Frankly I am waiting for my first big success before trying my "big ideas" that require more up-front money and risk. It just doesn't align with my lifestyle priorities to try such an idea from my current circumstances.
Now I am sure that there are examples of companies that have great relationships with VC's, but it's probably more rare than common.
In my current startup I do work a lot, but I see my wife and daughter, hang out with friends, I exercise reguarly, cook dinner 2x a week, work in the yard and generally enjoy life.
We are learning, growing, and succeeding. We're already a success in my mind, and isn't that what you're looking for?
It is helpful, Alan and thank you for taking the time.
Having a good lifestyle is important to me, which is why I am considering the move. I feel like my location does not suit my lifestyle. In life I've found three things I deeply care about so far: my wife, startups, and surfing. There I could have all three. I can't really understate the surfing part... when I surf regularly, I am a much better person. I calm down deep inside. It also keeps me in shape in a way nothing else ever has.
I don't think that moving to the Valley will automatically mean funding, or success. I'm a strong advocate of customer development, and I totally agree about scoping a product to fit your resources. I think that if you have a solid product concept grounded in a real, confirmable market need that you can build a startup anywhere. What I mean is: if startups are important to me, maybe I should be in the place that is most supportive of them? I'm 29, and I have no wealth to speak of because I spent it starting companies. I don't want to be 39 in the same situation... so maybe I should stack the deck in every way that I can. As you point out - most valley companies still fail.
As to VC... I don't want any, unless I'm in a high-growth situation where I can get a valuation the lets us retain control. Angel money is more interesting. But I believe in creating and growing revenue from day one - and we're doing that.
In life I've found three things I deeply care about so far: my wife, startups, and surfing.
Why not pick wife, surfing, and one 40-50 hour a week job. Start a family. Start your company in your late 40's early 50's with some partners--there are a lot of people who become entrepreneurs at that age. In the interim save your money and your health. I worry that your current "stopping rule" from work is disabling injury.
If surfing is that important to you, your health, and your sanity, then I'd say move. Regret is painful!
But just don't straddle startup + job for too long (more than 6 months). It just doesn't work. A startup without full time effort is practically a waste of time. It won't get the attention it deserves and is much more likely to stall out. Plus it really sucks to straddle like that.
The other commenter about the super-frugal approach is pretty good advice. That's essentially what I've done 3x now. One right out of college with a monthly burn of ~$1000. Once after .com crash in NYC with a burn of about $2000. And once when I was single in Atlanta, about the same. $24k will get you a year of startup time at those kinds of burn rates. If after a year you can't generate cash flow for expenses or borrow against a strong pipeline then it's time to move on anyway.
Also, don't do it alone. Ever. Just not a good idea. 2+ people minimum, 1 biz and 1 dev.
Something that I haven't seen mentioned: working a day job and living extremely frugally for a coupla years, then using the savings to fund your venture. You've already started your company, but perhaps it would be better in the long run to stop now and start again in a few years. It'd sure give you time to think about your ideas.
Yeah the valley is different, and ideas get funded easier and even dumb ideas get funded. Funding != success, so don't delude yourself into thinking that just because you can go out there and get funded you magically succeed or don't have to worry about money anymore. Maybe you have a decent salary for 2-3 years and get to "live the dream" but if it doesn't work out then you're pretty much back where you started.
I went through the wringer at 25 and it was my wake up call, and I heeded it.
If you want a good lifestyle, then make that your #1 priority. Working 80 hours a week for a long time leads to only one eventuality that often includes burnout, sickness, divorce, and unhappiness.
I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes an idea just isn't achievable given current circumstances. Working alone on something that requires 2 man-years to even "test out" is gonna be painful.
You have to either agressively cut scope, or better yet find an early customer and have them fund your work. Work with nature, not against it.
As for moving and getting funded... just a few thoughts:
If you get funded, it's no longer your company. The constant pressure of progress from the guys with money pretty much guarantees stress, anxiety, and indentured servitude as you haul ass to try out your idea. Remember who the VC industry serves; investors and the VC firms. While you do get something out of it (money), they aren't there to serve you. They are there to make money.
That's why all of my startups since I went through the wringer have been bootstrapped. I (or a small group of partners) own 100%. We have control. Even if we're 1/5 as successful as if we raised VC, the end result is the same b/c we own it all. If we need to grow, then we can borrow cheap "cash-flow" money instead of expensive "can I try my idea" money.
Frankly I am waiting for my first big success before trying my "big ideas" that require more up-front money and risk. It just doesn't align with my lifestyle priorities to try such an idea from my current circumstances.
Now I am sure that there are examples of companies that have great relationships with VC's, but it's probably more rare than common.
In my current startup I do work a lot, but I see my wife and daughter, hang out with friends, I exercise reguarly, cook dinner 2x a week, work in the yard and generally enjoy life.
We are learning, growing, and succeeding. We're already a success in my mind, and isn't that what you're looking for?
Hope the rambling was helpful.