At no point did I advocate using porn as a model of your sex life, and much less using bad porn. Because of that, I absolutely agree with many of your points about TV drama and family life.
However, I actually am using "real" very similarly to your definition. If porn has an impact on cultural practice, sex that is influenced by porn is real in that way, and so is sex influenced by romantic novels. We probably are less aware of the latter, though, since the ubiquity of porn on the internet is a newer phenomenon.
The quote you use sounds quite sex-positive. But please also note that the article uses "real" in quotes (sometimes even capitalized), so it is fair to assume that Gallop uses that term extensively as well, and probably in a judgmental fashion. Also, her site is called "make love, not porn". I find both quite hypocritical, since, after all, she is operating a porn site.
Her view is that many people do use porn as a model for their sex life, and that mainstream hardcore porn - which she things has a limited world-view - should not be the de-facto source of sex education.
All that is in her TED presentation. Perhaps watching that video would give you a different sense of the person than that NYT article about the person?
I think you are right to argue that she's advocating for more of the variant of reality pornography which is a higher quality of amateur pornography, or for more erotica. However, I think her real goal is that pornography is not where people should be learning about sex, and she's using this as a way to advocate that goal.
Framed your way, she thinks porn's impact on cultural practice is too constricting, and detrimental to the type of society she wants there to be.
However, I actually am using "real" very similarly to your definition. If porn has an impact on cultural practice, sex that is influenced by porn is real in that way, and so is sex influenced by romantic novels. We probably are less aware of the latter, though, since the ubiquity of porn on the internet is a newer phenomenon.
The quote you use sounds quite sex-positive. But please also note that the article uses "real" in quotes (sometimes even capitalized), so it is fair to assume that Gallop uses that term extensively as well, and probably in a judgmental fashion. Also, her site is called "make love, not porn". I find both quite hypocritical, since, after all, she is operating a porn site.