That seems to be getting pretty far off into silly now, though. Your contention is that grandparents with iOS devices can download apps (and presumably view media) there, but not on Android, precisely because the "app store" is called "Play Store". Really? Is there any research at all that bears this out?

It's not silly. Even as a fairly serious tech guy, the first time I saw "play store" I thought "what the fuck is a play store?" (and, half an hour earlier, "where the fuck did the market go?"). Because I'm a tech guy I have the confidence to click random things and see what they do (plus I could put two and two together in this case), but I'm pretty sure my parents wouldn't; they'd just stay away from the strange icons, and stick to the ones they recognize, like youtube and browser.

Getting sillier by the hour, it seems. You're taking one usability problem (that the upgrade from "Market" to "Play Store" is non-obvious) and trying to use that to reason that once someone uses "Market" they will never be able to use "Play Store". Ridiculous. Among other things, how did they find "Market" in the first place? I don't see how that's any more or less obvious, frankly -- the words are synonyms, for goodness sake. People find videos in something called "iTunes" after all.

This fixes itself the instant someone asks "where do I get an app?". Please.

Is "Play" a bad product name? Sure. But you're attributing powers to it that it simply doesn't have.