I have benzos as a safety net during my trips, and it occured to me that it may be a really bad idea to take them.

During a trip I lived what people describe as an "ego death", where I saw myself disappearing and dying, and it was the most frightening experience of my life. Not only was I completely unable to take a benzo at this point, but it is very much a death and rebirth movement as described by Leary in the psychedelic experience. If I was pulled out from that movement without completing it, I don't know what would have happened. I think I would have been left seriously shaken and disturbed. It was crucial perceiving myself coming back to existence in order to feel "me" again.

Sometimes "bad trips" aren't "bad", they're learning experiences meant to be completed, even if it is tough.