> I don't know how I should accept and understand her, forgive her and help her. She mentioned that she wanted to leave me, because she knew I loved her, so she can't become my burden. That deeply saddened me.
As someone who struggled with a bipolar diagnosis and now a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, you do not have to accept, understand, forgive, or help her.
In order to accept her you need to accept that she has hurt you and will continue to hurt you unless she decides to make a change. Mental health issues can make a person do bad things but it should never be an excuse. It's possible to get better but it requires work. I think when you separated you realized that you deserved to not be hurt, no matter what, and maybe she felt that way too. In order to forgive and help her, you will have to sacrifice yourself, because you cannot help her until she wants to help herself. I was diagnosed in high school and it took me almost 7 years to get to where I am today.
> For the past a few months, I have trapped myself in a loop of thinking about everything happened and feeling being used and then all the nice time we had together. I struggled a lot, not knowing if I should pick up the phone.
The bad doesn't take away the good times. I'd recommend going no contact to help recover. Do you have anyone you can reach out to? If you have someone you can talk to, catch up with, get a drink/coffee/shoot the shit with, they should be able to help you break you out of your loops and see the bad and good things better. And as someone commented below, therapists are the best. Wish you the best.
As someone who struggled with a bipolar diagnosis and now a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, you do not have to accept, understand, forgive, or help her.
In order to accept her you need to accept that she has hurt you and will continue to hurt you unless she decides to make a change. Mental health issues can make a person do bad things but it should never be an excuse. It's possible to get better but it requires work. I think when you separated you realized that you deserved to not be hurt, no matter what, and maybe she felt that way too. In order to forgive and help her, you will have to sacrifice yourself, because you cannot help her until she wants to help herself. I was diagnosed in high school and it took me almost 7 years to get to where I am today.
> For the past a few months, I have trapped myself in a loop of thinking about everything happened and feeling being used and then all the nice time we had together. I struggled a lot, not knowing if I should pick up the phone.
The bad doesn't take away the good times. I'd recommend going no contact to help recover. Do you have anyone you can reach out to? If you have someone you can talk to, catch up with, get a drink/coffee/shoot the shit with, they should be able to help you break you out of your loops and see the bad and good things better. And as someone commented below, therapists are the best. Wish you the best.