Lots of my peers in their late 30s and early or mid 40s who have decided they now want kids are spending 5-figure sums on fertility procedures such as IVF, etc. Also, there's a substantial increase in the probability of birth defects when the mother reaches that age, so other medical costs can increase dramatically. It's not a financial cost, but there's also the fact that it's nice to be relatively young and healthy when you're chasing toddlers around the house.
but there's also the fact that it's nice to be relatively young and healthy when you're chasing toddlers around the house.
Eh, on this point, I'll relate a comment I heard through someone recently. They were talking to a family member, getting their thoughts on the trade-offs between having kids younger versus older. Their answer was wonderfully succinct: "You're trading energy for patience."
The rest of your points are definitely valid. I have plenty of friends who've had kids later in life, naturally, without spending money on IVF, but there's definitely increased risk.
As for Downs, the magic number seems to be 35-36 years old. Even then, the odds don't go to 100% but they definitely increase substantially, so it's something to keep in mind (as well as your feeling on the ethics of prenatal testing and the associated decisions if they come back with a positive indication...).
Would they have forgone more income than the cost of fertility procedures had they had kids earlier though? Besides, if you use a surrogate mother and use donated or frozen eggs and sperm, you sidestep the higher probability of birth defects.
> it's nice to be relatively young and healthy when you're chasing toddlers
Why the assumption that you'll be not so healthy in your 40s and 50s? My parents had me in their late 30s and they didn't seem to lack for energy compared to what they and their friends remember of their 20s. Hell, I'll bet even if they had more kids right now they'll still have the same health and energy.
But that doesn't offset the cost. Surrogates are still enormously expensive. And, presently, introduce legal concerns (whose kid is it) depending on the country and state.
on the other side, there's an emotional cost to having kids at any age without being adequately financially stable or financially mature. Growing up in a house where parents are fighting about money constantly has its own price which is much harder to put a figure on. Money fights are also a big factor in divorce, which leads to its own set of financial issues for most people.
Not only that, but you've got a not-insignificant chance at multiples. My wife's cousin waited, had to try IVF, and wound up with triplets. One was initially undersized, and although nobody speaks about it, I suspect ran up some hefty medical bills as he had to stay in NICU well past the time his siblings went home.
