Well, I don't have to wait; I've been through it. In my case, I had essentially no documentation of what my equity was, just a handshake. And when the company sold, I was treated profoundly well. Did I get lucky? I don't know. I loved the project, loved the work, loved the company, and trusted the founder who hired me.
On the other hand, look at anyone who held private company options in @stake, a well-funded company with a solid 8 figure exit. All of them had their equity positions spelled out on paper, and none of it meant anything, because VC liquidation preferences trump your peon shares.
Look, I'm not trying to be petulant. I just want to point out that your employee options are nowhere nearly as important as you think they are. If you know how to negotiate and you're valuable and you keep your eyes open, you'll do well. If not, no piece of paper is going to save you.
My advice to our friend is, if you love the project, trust the founders, and don't have a much more solid job option, by all means, take the leap.
No, because each of the team already secretly imagines that the better part of those millions belong to them for doing "all of the work" and is just sure that when the time comes the others will agree.